Preparing Our Hearts and Home

Over the past two weeks some of my emotions have surprised me. I started last Monday by recovering from G's birthday party and ended it at a doctor's check-up for myself. While I was there, I decided to get the first of many immunizations I will need to travel to Africa. I am opting to get one every 3-4 weeks since I am so sensitive to toxins, live virus', etc. Monday I got the lovely Tetanus booster in my right arm. Since I pass out at most blood draws, I had warned the nurse that I would be looking the other direction and that she needed to make conversation with me to keep me distracted. Well, the nurse did not talk to me so I proceeded to talking to myself in my mind. I kept thinking, "This pain is for my little girl. This is for my little girl. I can do this so I can travel to meet and bring home my little girl." Apparently at some point I began talking OUT LOUD and only realized it when the nurse asked me who I was talking to - how embarrassing!! The nurse had no idea how a shot pertained to a little girl. I felt quite silly! (And yes, I realize. I AM a big wimp. God knew that I would never survive through child birth.)

A few days later Garrett and I were shopping at Gymboree, and as we were checking out I happened to notice the girly side of the store. I have refrained from clothes shopping or even browsing for our Baby E since I won't know her size for a while. So, I was shocked when my eyes welled up with tears as I was handing over my debit card. It hit me...I will soon be able to buy clothes for not just any little girl....OUR little girl.

My dreams of growing our family are becoming a reality. I spoke with our social worker about two weeks ago and she said she would be calling us "in a few weeks" to hopefully set up a match meeting. AHHH!!

And hence, this weekend we got the ball really rolling in Baby E's nursery.....her room is now painted, curtains hung, twin bed repainted and repaired (it's a cute old spindle bed handed down by my step mom and refurbished by my mom and step dad - thanks guys!), all crib and twin bedding sewn and on (thanks again to my talented mom), chandelier installed - and ooo, it's so pretty - and tonight I picked up the upholstery fabric for her rocker/ottoman and plan to drop it off to be upholstered tomorrow! We have a few little accessories up on the walls but my goal over the next 7 days is to purchase everything else and get this sweet girl's room fully decorated so that after her referral comes, I can begin tackling the other umpteen to-do lists in her honor!

I just can't believe it. Things are happening. Our baby girl is alive and on African soil. She is being loved on by women I've never met. She is about 8 hours ahead of us. I am now, without putting forth effort, remembering her as we progress through our day. As I go to bed, I wonder if she is waking up for a night feeding and if the woman caring for her is groggy and grumpy or is joyfully soothing her? As I wake up, I wonder what the afternoon is holding for her....is she playing in a crib with some of the toys we sent back in April (not just for her, but all the babies) or is she getting her daily check up with the nurse? Is she crawling because she's a bit older or laying down and cooing?

Garrett even chimes in with, "I wonder what Baby E is doing now?".....we are all beginning to fall in love with a little perfect person we've never even seen or even heard about. God is connecting us to her story already. I am beyond fascinated to see how it all unfolds. Until then, we'll continue to prepare mentally and physically and cover our sweet girl in prayer...