I am determined (and Day 1)

I am determined to blog about our trip to Ethiopia to bring home Ellie before the end of 2009! Honestly, I just looked through all 700+ pictures from our trip and was brought to tears.

Processing our trip has been so .... so.... I don't have the word .... much? Hard? Overwhelming? Heartbreaking? Disabling? Yes, all of those words and then some.

I have really been surprised how tender my memories are of our trip to Ethiopia and back. I have spent 6+ months trying to give the right words to each day of our trip, each person we met, each set of eyes I looked into. But I really can't do it justice or fully come up with the words to convey the memories in my heart.

However, I would like to be able to record some, any memories I have so that they do not fade. So, my goal for myself is to simply post pictures and anything I can remember (and share - some things I won't) from our 10 days of travel. And not worry about the words being just right or perfect. Let it just be. Anything "on paper" is better than nothing!I'm going to ease myself into this....here is our first day of travel!

I remember waking up that Thursday morning, running errands with Garrett (trying to find enough crisp, unmarked $100 bills) while Kenny did some last minute work at the office, meeting up with Kenny at our favorite Mexican restaurant for one last meal as a family of three and then coming home, stuffing socks into one of our TWELVE suitcases/backpacks and scrambling like crazy up until the moment our sweet, dear neighbor and friend, Kristie, picked us up. We crammed all twelve bags into her SUV, drove through Chic-fil-a for a Dr. Pepper and headed to the airport.


Once we got there we unloaded and were greeted by some of our favorite friends, D and E-Girl. D had some pictures for us to deliver to the Baby Home staff.


We proceeded inside where we met up with our travel buddy/helper, Auntie Heather.




After frantically checking in only to find out our seats were NOT assigned with one another, D prayed for us and sent us on our way through security. I don't remember much other than being EXTREMELY paranoid I was going to lose our passports, HUGE accordion file folder of adoption documents or cash. Oh, and I remember Kristie telling me right before we left "take a deep breath....BREATHE". I needed to hear that. In the worst way. Eventually our seat assignments were rearranged and we boarded the first flight to Germany.

We let Garrett watch as many DVD's as he wanted, play as much Leapster as he wanted and eat any and all snacks that he wanted. I must say, Garrett was amazingly well behaved on the 9+ hour flight. We all snoozed off and on, tried to eat the airplane food (well, Kenny ate his AND ours) and then ran like crazy to make our connecting flight to Ethiopia. Trying to pull 4 carry on suitcases and 4 backpacks AND a sleepy toddler through the German airport was NOT easy.

But, we made our flight! And, if I remember correctly, we all took turns sitting with Garrett (we were seated 2 and 2) during our second 8 or 9 hour flight. I think the end of this flight is where my tummy issues began; looking back I am not sure if it was a combination of airplane food and the recent loss of my gall bladder or nerves ... maybe all three!

As we landed I remember losing it - weeping a deep, deep set of emotions as we descended over the land where our daughter was living. At first I thought it was because we were so close to her, and I'm sure that was part of it. But I'll never forget the overwhelming burden I felt in my heart for this country. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do anything but let the tears roll down my face. And being hugged by my sweet friend, Heather. Having her there was SUPPOSED to be for Garrett, but I am ever so thankful I was able to share moments like this one with a dear friend and fellow adoptive mother.

After making it off the flight, getting our transit visas and finding our luggage (it all made it!!) we were greeted by the Baby Home director and one of the care givers. We made plans to meet the next day and were then taken to The Ethiopia Guest Home where we stayed while in Ethiopia.

And, that's Day 1 1/2 folks!

Like my new blog header? Me, too! It's thanks to my oh-so-talented friend, Angela. She IS every woman! Thanks so much, Angela!

Saturday Sweetness

What a sweet day we have had ... donuts with Daddy (read: Momma slept in til 8), extra cartoon time, some outdoor play, leisurely lunch at our fave Mexican restaurant, naps/rest time and soon-to-be date time! Shaping up to be a really great, unexpected day!

Hush Little Baby...

I just had to take a picture today of how Ellie sleeps - right on top of her pillow, at the far end of her crib, nestled into her bumper.

We've tried taking her pillow out (she slept with one in Ethiopia and cries terribly if it's gone) and removing the bumpers as we have to think both are a hazard. However, Ellie cannot get comfy unless both are there and has banged her sweet little nose into the crib bars which causes her sensitive little nose to bleed like there ain't no tomorrow. So, both stay for now.

Today she also opted to snuggle up with her special bunny. And I couldn't resist snapping a picture of the sweet, sleeping baby.

All Things Garrett

Here is Garrett showing off his latest hobby: collecting snails. You read that right. He (and his buddy across the street) are very much into collecting snails. And, yes, I realize it's totally icky that we have snails around our home right now. I'd ask if anyone knows how to get rid of them but doing so might break this little man's heart. And, I can't be the one to do that! Because, ouch, if loving him hurts sometimes (because he's just THAT lovable), then I don't even want to think about how hurting him would feel.

But that's a philosophical debate in my mind for another day, right? I really jumped on the blog to jot down just a few reasons why I am so smitten with this character so that I could look back on them in the days, months and years to come.

So, here are some reasons why, at age 5 years and 2 months, I adore Garritto-Burrito:

1. He loves the color orange. Has since he learned the word "orange". ALWAYS been his favorite. And over the past few months, every day he insists on wearing some form of orange on his body.

Last spring/summer I bought his wardrobe (with him in tow, knowing I better let him pick out what he liked or else it wouldn't get worn) with very little orange. He wasn't full blown into his orange obsession. Which means we only purchased 3 shirts that have orange on them.

And, that means, since the warm weather has stuck around into fall and I'm not buying more short sleeve shirts, he wears the SAME THREE SHIRTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I'm not one to balk at originality or quirkiness but wearing the same things day in and day out really bug me. Can you say, "Get over yourself, Jill" ? I'm trying, I'm trying! And, for the record, we have purchased PLENTY of orange variety winter clothing.

2. Garrett loves to be outdoors collecting leaves, rocks and snails. With the exception of the latter, he has loved to collect all those things since the time he could toddle. I love that he still loves the same things with the passing of each season.

3. I loved when he prayed the other night that he said "God, thank you for making people in humor" and that I have no clue where he got that from. What I wouldn't give to know what he meant.

4. I'm tickled every time he talks about private things so matter-of-factly (like bathroom talk, people - nothing really weird). Because that means he is still so innocent. And, I'd love to freeze him just like this.

5. I adore (no hate, no adore, no hate) that he has some pack rat tendencies to him. Little man loves to save EVERYTHING. He loves to have all of his belongings spread out all over his room without an ounce of order. And I think I love this the most because it is so opposite of me (think "Container Store" people - that's my happy place).

I love my little man. I love that he has graced my life with his joy and caused me to break free from the mundane, vanilla way of my thinking and living.

Bedtime Blessings

As I was going through the bedtime routine with Ellie tonight, it hit me how many prayers, even if I never verbally acknowledged them, regarding our daughter were answered. I guess maybe these prayers were really a "wish list" that, during the adoption process, I dare not think out loud.

For example, I was really, really hoping that she would be touchy-feely. That she would let me hold her and want to be held. That she would liked to be rocked. That she would snuggle up next to me as she took her bottle. That I could have those moments while feeding her a bottle where, as Garrett did when he was 6-9 months old, she would reach up and touch my face and tug on my hair and grin. I secretly wanted all of these things that either were not a part of Garrett's temperament or were "infant only" type behaviors. Knowing Ellie would be 1+ years old, I tried to let go of these wishes early on in the adoption process so my heart wouldn't be disappointed.

But tonight as I sat in the pink rocking chair, feeding Ellie her bottle (yes, I know she's almost two - I snatched the bottle away from Garrett at 15 months and I am proud that I'm still getting some bottle time in with this girl!), it hit me and my eyes stung with tears. Our night time routine consists of all the things I had hoped for: rocking, feeding a bottle, snuggling, touching mama's face and singing.

And then I realized that while so many unexpected blessings came during this adoption, there are always some things that are disappointing (whether initially or over the years).

Everyone in our home has either had a nasty cold this week (and Garrett has had strep, too). Ellie has been sneezing more than usual but hasn't missed a beat. When Ellie was extra cuddly tonight and didn't sing much, I suddenly panicked.

IS THIS HOW SHE ACTS WHEN GETTING SICK - SUPER QUIET? I HAVE NO CLUE HOW SHE ACTS WHEN SHE IS SICK! Does she get tired and quiet? Does she get loud and super cranky? Does she have a high pain tolerance? Or does she just have a really great immune system?

I know that something like this is small and with time I will learn this side of Ellie's temperament. It's just a reminder that you lose and grieve little (and big) things through adoption. I am in no way trying to make light of the magnitude of grief that adoption brings for the adoption triad members...just laying it out there. Sometimes we even have to mourn the little things and count the unexpected blessings along the way.

21 Months Old

Ellie Tsion is now 21 months old! That seems too close to "two" for comfort. Well, she's already acting two (if you know what I mean) so I guess it's all relative. Here are 21 things that clearly paint a picture of our girl:

1. She's loud. L-O-U-D, loud. As in, louder-than-her-brother-loud.

2. She prefers to use a rich vocabulary: NO! NOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!

3. She is quite the dare devil. Just tonight she jumped over the back of the couch. She climbs up the jungle gym and prefers to try and flip herself over the side.

4. She has finally given up her nap time bottle.

5. She continues to eat like a house. Her most frequent request being "DEESE" (cheese).

6. She loves to mimic anything her momma does: iron, cook, applying make-up, putting on lotion, etc.

7. She has a standard way of greeting new people: she holds up her leg and points her shoe in their direction and says "SUE" (shoe). And, she WILL remember those who make a big deal about her shoes and stalk them repeatedly each and every time she sees them to model her "sues".

8. She has a strong affection for Elmo, dolls and Jack (from Jack's Big Music Show). And her Daddy obliges her. Wrapped. Around. His Finger. Already.

9. She is quite opinionated about her clothes. If I pick out something that doesn't suit her, she will chant "UP, UP, UP" for me to hold her up in her closet and SHE will tug on what she wants to wear. Heaven help us now.

10. We often refer to Ellie as Sassy, Miss Priss, Belle-Belle and Belly Girl.

11. Brushing teeth is one of her favorite past times. She screams bloody murder when we take her toothbrush away.

12. We promise she still has an Ethiopian accent some times. Like when she say okay ... it sounds like "Ahhh-kay". Just yesterday I had walked into the other room and heard her behind me saying "Ahhh-kay" and really, really thought for a second it was Tegist, the director of the Baby Home where she lived.

13. When she's really, really elated she'll shrug her shoulders up, shudder with excitement and purse her lips. It's too, too cute.

14. Ellie is fascinated by the big boys her brother plays with on our street in the afternoons. We take out girly toys so that she'll have something to play with, too, but most days she is content running after them, trying to get on the bikes and digging for snails. Tomboy?

15. She now cries when we fix her hair in the mornings. And lets big crocodile tears slide down her cheeks. I can't decide if it really is hurting or if she's practicing for her teenage years. I think it's the latter.

16. Ellie had her first day of Mother's Day Out this week. She jumped right into her teacher's arms and never looked back. Not even once. Kenny and I had to pick our chins up off the floor. The teachers said she didn't cry all day. Not at all. She did ask for her Daddy at nap time. And, she is quite proud of her lunch box ... carries it like a purse!

17. Belle-belle girl is sleeping through the night but really enjoys giving the house a wake up call around 5:50 or 6 a.m. which provides perfect Daddy-daughter bonding time. ;)

18. She prefers "Top 40" music - you know, Beyonce, Britany, Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift and the like. Throw in a little rap and she's really bouncin'.

19. Girlfriend is wearing a size 18-24 months or 2T in most clothes. I think she is nearing 30 lbs as her last well baby check-up was at 18 months and she weighed a little over 28 lbs. However, we think she's loosing her baby belly. And that makes me sad.

20. Her disposition, albeit spunky and sassy, is still the sweetest and most agreeable of a toddler I've seen in a long, long time. She smiles, she laughs, she knows how to give others a hard time in a joking manner. She is the exact amount of joy we needed in this family.

21. Some day, this sweet daughter and sister, will make one, wonderful little servant. Maybe a mommy. Maybe a wife. Maybe a teacher or nurse. But it's so evident she enjoys helping others.