Day Two: Meeting Her As a Family

So many of my memories have already faded from our second day in Ethiopia. This was the day we were to meet Ellie Tsion. I know the Baby Home director, Tegist, came to pick us up and had her daughter, Tina, with her. After a very bumpy 30 or so minute ride, we arrived at the Baby Home and were greeted in the outside foyer by some of the older boys. Garrett immediately ran up to them and showed them the toy he had brought for his baby sister.

As we entered into the home we could hear the sounds of babies and young children playing. We made our way up to the second story and just as we rounded the stair case, a loud, large group of children ran our direction....and Ellie Tsion was one of them! I was shocked to see her RUNNING down the hallway because only 2 1/2 short months earlier she was confined in the baby room as a crawler! I remember my heart sank right then and there even though I had already been told she could walk; I had missed her first steps.

Once Ellie realized we were strangers (and tall, white, non-Amharic speaking strangers) she shuffled right back to her favorite care giver's arms. We let Garrett walk up to her first, thinking she might be most receptive and least threatened by a child. I don't exactly remember what he said but do remember he walked up to her, gave her the toy and skidaddled into the big boy room.

(Ellie Tsion in the arms of her favorite care giver, "TT". To their right is Tina and Tegist)

I think I let Kenny approach her next since he had not yet met her (I had in January). By this time Ellie was SO quiet and SO not sure what was going on. I made my way over to her; she did not remember me at all. I didn't think she would but it was still heartbreaking non the less.

We all stood around talking and letting her get used to the sight of us.

And every now and again, we'd try to sneak in a little pat on the back. Here you can see how well those were received (or not).

(And, here was Kenny - a few steps removed so as not to get the death stare, me acting like a fool trying to convince Ellie this toy was super fun and that was Tegist's hand holding our little video camera - no pressure!)

Eventually we moved into the older kids rooms where there was a lot of floor space and fewer care givers. Ellie still would have NOTHING to do with us and stayed in the arms of her care givers. We let her watch us interact with the older children - played some games, passed out a few treasures we brought for them, etc. We wanted to be very careful not to force ourselves on Ellie.

(Here was Ellie in TT's arms and kinda intrigued by Garrett who was videoing her)

Looking back I should have picked her up sooner but instead Tegist suggested I pick her up. She cried. I felt like the meanest person alive. I cooed. I whispered. I distracted her with toys.




And, at some point she sat in my lap in one of the bunk beds where Kenny was able to slide in next to us.

(Ellie trying everything in her power to ignore us! This is her looking away - really!)



(Ellie acted like she wanted to go to Kenny but kept looking back at her care giver as if she was asking, "TT, is it okay?")

Ellie tried her best to not make eye contact. She tried her best to just be quiet. Oh, how quiet and scared she was. It was heartbreaking. It was so sad.

But we knew this was to be expected from a child who was attached to her care givers (bravo to our adoption agency for the numerous hours of training and education they provided us for moments such as these). All of these things meant that she knew how to love and attach and could apply that "skill" again one day with her family and others. But just because you know something in your head doesn't mean your heart agrees.

I think so many people have a picture in their mind what it is like to adopt a child. They dream of this magical event happening where you fly to a faraway land and enter a room and sweep up a precious baby into your arms as he/she coos and instantly lavishes you with love.

Um, people, I'm here to tell you that's just not routinely the case. Yes, I threw in *routinely* because for some families, it does happen that way. I rarely have heard those stories; especially with infants. Doesn't mean your child won't love you. Just means your child has become accustomed to another primary care giver.

And I am not trying to make myself feel better because our daughter did not instantly fall in love with us. I am simply trying to keep it real. I think it's important to paint as clear of a picture as possible for both other adoptive families and for when our daughter reads this one day. When she reads this I hope she can see how loved she was in the Baby Home. I hope she can see how well cared for she was. I hope she can see that she was passed from loving arms to loving arms and to loving arms. Never was there a gap. She was always loved.

I am not sure how long we spent at the Baby Home that day - several hours at most? And, I have no recollection as to what else we did that day. Just that we had all finally met HER. Seeing my husband meet his daughter and my son meet his sister was priceless. Relieving. Sixteen months in the making. All boiled down to one day. Our God is so good.

PS: There were MANY, MANY more pictures and video I wanted to post from this day. The sweet one of Garrett running up to the Baby Home and showing the older boys his toy for Ellie. The ones with Heather on the floor with all the kids playing. The ones of Garrett running after her friends. The one of Kenny sitting among all the kids. So many. But, for privacy and legal reasons, it's just not okay to show pictures of the other children who are not mine.