Day Five: Embassy Day and More

Tuesday, our fifth day, was our US Embassy appointment day. Tegist picked Kenny and I up earlier than usual that morning with Ellie Tsion and a care giver in tow. Garrett and Auntie Heather stayed at the Guest Home instead of coming with us as we knew that our time at the Embassy could be very rigid and strict - neither a good mix for a four year old little boy in a foreign country!

When we hopped into Tegist's car, Ellie was in the front seat with Tegist and the care giver, the other Tegist or "TT" as Ellie called her, was ducking down under a blanket in the backseat. For a long time I didn't see TT in the back and was really appalled by how Tegist must have driven with Ellie alone. Did she put her in the floor board? Did she just sit shotgun? Joke was on me - she sat in the loving arms of her TT!

We made our way to the Embassy, parked down the road, met up with our attorney and walked up to the gates. After going through security (two check points) I realized I forgot my passport. You read that right. The girl who was uber paranoid about everyone else losing their things FORGOT hers. Actually, the night before, I had packed up all of our documents and thought I had taken out Heather and Garrett's passports. My mistake. I left Garrett's in and mine out. Luckily the nice lady let me use the copy of my passport in it's place.

At the Embassy we waited about an hour before being called up to the booth. During that time Ellie stayed with me in her carrier (seriously, if you are adopting more than a 5 lb. baby - splurge and buy this one - totally worth it. Especially if you are petite. And two weeks post-op. I was so glad I had it!) We walked. We sang. We looked at books. I fed her Cheerios and a bottle. She wasn't excited but she wasn't screaming either. Progress.

Another funny story, when we were first called up to the counter, I could have sworn the lady didn't call our name. But our attorney said, "No, no, she said Buckner family - they call you by agency" and so I just went along with it. The lady asked us a myriad of planned questions to which we had been prepared to answer. As we were going through them, I looked down at the paperwork and saw that our names weren't on them but instead a family, like Burk family or Boone family. Some "B" family. And by the time I realized it Kenny was already signing away. I was really scared to speak up because you just don't make a peep unless you're asked to peep at the Embassy. But, at last I did (all the while our attorney was giving me "shut up, don't talk" eyes) and the nice lady at the Embassy turned into a frigid lady. We were told to sit down. And then waited another thirty or so minutes. During which time I was petrified she wasn't going to let us legally have our baby.

Kenny, me and Ellie After Our Embassy Appointment (this was down the road, you can't take pictures in or anywhere near the actual Embassy)

Eventually we were given another turn, paperwork went well and that was that! Whew! After our appointment we had a quick lunch which ultimately won our sweet girl over! She sat in my lap and Kenny was across. He cut up the bananas, pasta and bread, passed them over to me and I fed our sweet girl. She was quiet. She wasn't her spunky self. But she was content. Food. Remember that, peeps. Food.

Our original plan after lunch was to go back to the Guest Home, pick up Heather and Garrett, drop off Ellie and TT at the Baby Home and then make the drive out to a more rural area called Bantu to see some of the other ministries (primarily a school) that our agency is a part of. Game plan changed when Tegist decided Ellie was doing really well in our care and she didn't want to break that continuity. So, we picked up Heather and Ellie and were on our way to Bantu!

Unfortunately, the schools in Bantu were STILL closed that day due to the Easter holiday and so no children were there. We were able to tour the buildings and enjoy a really beautiful ride through the countryside. As we drove we could see more of life. More of people. More of the hardships and joys. So many thoughts, emotions and more swirled through my mind as I balanced the sheer bliss of holding my daughter in my lap and watching the people of her home live their daily lives. Walking miles. Carrying pounds and pounds of food and water. Working hard, really, really hard. Harder than I probably will ever know. Harder than Ellie will probably ever know. And, I think that was the day my heart tore in two. Such joy coupled with such pain and hardship. It just didn't seem fair. Why me? Why them? Why not me? Why not them? My mind still doesn't have adequate thoughts formulated to express it all. I do know I feel privileged to have seen more than one way of living life.

Our Family in Bantu

Me, Ellie and Heather in Bantu

Garrett on the Playground in Bantu (Ellie and I watching)

One of the Classrooms in Bantu

That evening we made our way back to the Guest Home for dinner, baths and a little family play time. Ellie was very insistent only I hold her (and all the time) and that Kenny not look at her too long. Really, she was so frightened by him. It broke my heart. And his, too. But, having heard this from other adoptive parents, again, I knew this was normal and would fade. Ellie did, however, enjoy sitting with Garrett on the bed and watching him play Leapster. And, we enjoyed watching their first few moments as siblings in a more private area. Garrett was so sweet with her that first night. Very gentle. Very kind. I don't think he even knew what to expect.

Garrett Showing Ellie His Leapster

Garrett, Me and Ellie Our First Night "Home" (Do you see the death stare she was giving her Daddy behind the camera - geez! She was so tough on him but now, oh man, is she ever a Daddy's Girl!)

Eventually, Garrett and Kenny went downstairs so I could put Ellie to bed. I thought it would take hours and tears, but nope, she took her bottle, I rocked her in my arms and within 20 minutes she was asleep. I transferred her to her pack-n-play without a peep. We prepped the room for what we thought would be a long, tearful night - lots of bottles lined up, etc.

I am happy to report that she slept ALL NIGHT! I however, did not. Kenny and Garrett did. Not momma. I woke up numerous times elated that we were all together. Finally. I kept checking on her to make sure she was breathing (like you would with a newborn - ha!). She was there. She was angelic. So still. So sweet. So perfectly content in her sleep. And as a mother, that's all I wanted to see for her - that she was content and happy. Her days were rocky and full of fear, but her night time was filled with peace. And for that, I was so thankful.